May 2005 Archives

As I try to rid my lawn of weeds, I realise that these deep-rooted creatures are zombies. They spring up everywhere. They infect patches of grass. And the only way to kill them is to pull them up by the roots. I've been weeding for four days straight, grabbing about 50 - 100 dandelions a day, and every morning new yellow heads pop up. One patch was so thick with weeds, that I couldn't find where one dandelion patch started and another one finished, so I just started digging and ripping. Of course, the root snapped off like an asparagus stem, meaning that I failed in killing the source. I'll be back out on the lawn this weekend, but maybe I'll arm myself with weed killer.

Maybe I've got zombies on the brain because of my second book, or more likely it's because George A. Romero's Land of the Dead opens in less than a month. Zombies rule!

I'm officially at the halfway point of the Graffiti Ghouls revisions. So far so good. The middle section of the book seems to be in better shape than I thought, but I'll bet that when my publisher sends the contract, I'll suddenly find tons of mistakes. The weird thing is that I used to love writing under pressure; now I'd rather write without deadlines and commitments. Okay, back to work. I'm revising a chapter a day, so by the time my contract is finalized, the revised draft should be ready for the editor (and hopefully, it will mean the editing sessions will go quicker).

I had to take my wife to the hospital the other night, because she had severe chest pains. We still don't know what the cause was, but the doctor eliminated heart attack, which put both our minds at ease. It may be gallstones, but tests later this will week will confirm everything. The good news is that my wife is feeling better.

However, I was shocked at the state of emergency medicine. There was only one doctor on call that night. What would have happened if two major traumas arrived at the same time? I'm afraid that this is the side of Ralph Klein's healthcare that the Government doesn't want the voters to see.

After 8 test drive sessions of Graffiti Ghouls, I've finally reached the sad conclusion that I have to put my Chia Pet joke to sleep. While adults totally get what a Chia Pet is, a lot of the students are confused by the word. It sounds funny when it's read aloud, but on the page it just looks strange. It's the punchline to a joke, and I have to get rid of it. Sigh, it was my favourite joke too. I might use Chia Pet as another reference, but I can't keep it as the punchline.

Oh boy, this was a long test drive. I read the first chapter of Graffiti Ghouls to students at Vanier, Primeau, and Notre Dame (all in Morinville). In total, I read the chapter 5 times at the three different schools. The reactions were great. Lots of good feedback. For the most part, everyone can identify with the characters and they seem to be the same as the characters from the first book. A couple of things that I have to look at:

- Marty admits to a crush at the end of the first book, but claims he doesn't have one at the start of the second. I have to check my continuity a little more closely than George Lucas did with the Star Wars series.

- A lot of people were confused with Marty's pants being around his ankles. They thought he was wearing them. I just have to make sure that it is clear that everyone knows his pants have been pulled down around his ankles, and everything else will be clear.

- One student wanted more description of Marty and his mom. I realised that I neglected to describe them physically. I'll have to flesh out the description a little more.

Besides the feedback, I also discovered that a couple of sections were too wordy, and I'm already pruning away some sections so that the chapter moves a little quicker and smoother. I think by the time I do my last test drive in June, I'll have a pretty tight chapter. My thanks to everyone in Vanier, Primeau, and Notre Dame. You were a huge help!

Today was an interesting test drive of Graffiti Ghouls. For the first time, I tried out chapter one on grade seven students. The laughs were still in the right places, but not as loud as with elementary kids. The weird thing I noticed is that the girls seemed to connect better to the story than the boys. I may be skewed a bit by a couple of trouble making boys, who decided to talk through the reading. One good comment came out from someone who didn't understand the static charge bit. I figured most people understood that when you shuffle across a carpet and touch something metal, chances are very likely you'll get a shock. I have to do some explaining in the book. All in all, it was a good test drive. I think the book is probably best for grades 4 to 6, but I wouldn't try to push it to older grades.

Of course, the test drive made me think about novels that might actually work for junior high students. Maybe that will be my next project. One more series of test drives to go, and then the manuscript goes to the publisher for editing.

Sometimes the simplest tricks work best for rewriting. I'm reading each chapter of Graffiti Ghouls aloud and finding all sorts of mistakes or ways to revise the book better. I guess when I read silently, it's easy to skip over typos, missing words, or clumsy sentences. When I have to read the book aloud, I'm forced to hear all my mistakes.

My thanks to the staff and grade four students at Lymburn School. They squeezed me in to read the first chapter of Graffiti Ghouls. I was thrilled with their reactions. Lots of laughs, and even an "ooo" at one point. I'm waffling between keeping Chia Pet pants or changing it to Broccoli pants. No many students know what Chia Pets are, but adults do. Maybe that'll be a joke for the grown ups. I've got another test drive this Wednesday for grade seven students. I'll be interested to see how well it does for them.

It's been about a week since the Forbidden Phoenix workshop, and I'm summarizing the notes from everyone. I like to get a little distance from the workshop before I actually dive into revisions. Sometimes notes that were given in the "heat of the moment" tend to reflect symptoms of the problem rather than the actual problem. With a little time away, I can come at the script with a more objective eye and see the problem spots more easily. The comments from everyone are more like red flags as opposed to "do it this way." Already, I can see a way through the next revision. Once the book is set, then I can get to the business of writing lyrics with the composer. Oh boy, this is a long process, but I think the result will make all the work worthwhile.

Great news. The book is going into fourth printing, and the publisher has decided to change the cover so that we can create a "brand" look for the series. It means that he's thinking along the lines of many more books to come. That means that the publisher is going to come up with a cover that has visual links that can run from the first book to the second to the third, etc.

The really cool news is that for everyone who has an original book with the existing cover, those books are going to become collectors' items. In my wildest dreams, I never expected this kind of success for the book. I think a lot of it has to do with the students, teachers, and librarians who have rallied around the book. My thanks to everyone who picked up the book and told their friends and colleagues about it.

Today, I started to read chapter one to test audiences. Much thanks to Waverly School and Dovercourt. I got lots of good feedback. Already, I know I have to change Chia-Pet to something else greenish. I also have to change the word "eyesore" to something else. And I have to track through the manuscript to make sure that Marty's mom has the same voice as she did in the first book. All in all, a very productive day. I'm so happy to have the chance to keep working on the book. I'm signing the contract in June, so I have about 3 weeks to do final tweaks before I turn the draft over to the editor for changes. Yay!

Wow! What a great read. We switched a couple of actors around, which made a huge difference in the reading. Also, the actors had a week with the script and knew a bit more of what to do. The emotion really came out in the piece. A couple of people gasped toward the end of the reading. The rough drafts of the songs kicked ass. Still a lot of work to do, but there was enough from the reading that made me feel like I can actually bash the script into shape in the next pass.

The big thing that I need to do is dig deeper into the world and the characters. A lot of the decisions in the script are governed by story; now I need to solidify the actions and ensure they come from the characters' needs and not my needs. I think that's my Achilles' Heel. I tend to write with plot first and character second. I think that's why I need so many drafts to get a play ready. The only thing that keeps me going is the positive feedback to the script and songs. I just hope that someone will commit to a production soon.

This morning, we have the final reading of the play for the workshop. I have tons of notes from various people about the script, but the one note that seems to be shouting at me the loudest is to simplify even more. If this play is going to be a movement/musical piece, I can't weigh it down with too much text and exposition. Because of the historical allegory, the script is getting bogged down. The head of the Playwrights Colony, John Murrell, made a great suggestion: stop trying to tell the allegory in words and see what happens if it unfolds in visuals. That may give the play the freedom to have songs and Peking Opera movement pieces without the audience having to worry about keeping track of the plot.

As I move into this new draft, I have to be real conscious of the symbols I pick and how they function in the script. The interesting thing I learned yesterday about Peking Opera was that a prop can function as a horse whip and a weapon. Because this convention is already established for Peking Opera fans, they aren't confused by the dual purpose. However, what I'm doing is creating new symbols, so I have to be absolutely clear about what they represent. Okay, I'm off to the reading. I'll tell you what happened tomorrow.

Yesterday, I walked to town with some of the actors from the Playwrights Colony. We hiked along a trail about 50 - 60 feet over a river, when we came across a mountain biker looking for his friend... who had fallen off the cliff. We ran to the bottom of the cliff and spotted a young man in a helmet get up and walk along the river. He was in shock, cut up a little bit, but alive! This guy survived a 50 foot fall on to rocks. Some tourists on the other side of the river saw the fall and called emergency services. Meanwhile, we helped this guy to the top of the cliff and hailed a car to drive him to the hospital. As we walked, the guy began to complain of breathing problems. I'm not sure if it was from a broken rib or what.

Here's the awful part of the story. His riding pal stops us from loading his friend into a car so that he can a picture. He tells his friend that this is a picture of the "day he almost died." When we asked if the riding pal wanted to go with his buddy to the hospital, he said he had to find the camp site first. Maybe he was in shock too, but what a callous reaction to a friend's near death experience.

One of the actors went to the hospital with the injured man, and reported that two hours of waiting and the friend still didn't show up. With friends like that who needs a funeral director.

Well, I'm into the middle of the week of the workshop and my brains is about to explode from all the information. The Peking Opera specialist is an amazing resource and every time I talk to him, I feel like I'm going back to school with my favourite English teacher, Mr. Nigro (may he rest in peace). I'm loving the elements of Peking Opera, from the subtleties of movement, eye expressions, stick work, props, costumes, and choreography. Right now, he's teaching us about ribbon work in Peking Opera, along with water sleeves. I'm in awe. I've decided not to do any rewrites on the scripts this week. I'm still waiting to collect everyone's notes, and my laptop is acting up.

I don't know if it's experience or just plain laziness, but I no longer feel the urge to rush through revisions for the sake of actors and directors. I'd rather take the time to think through notes and step back from the script so that I can make the right changes and not the arbitrary changes. I hope that made sense. Anyway, my point is I want the job to be done well and not just done. Okay, back to more work with the Peking Opera specialist.

Whew! I survived the reading. Actors, dramaturges, and several other people gathered around the table to go through the play. Thankfully, there was no discussion after the reading. I'll get all my notes from the dramaturge, who's job is to gather everyone's notes and break them down into something useful for me. I like the Banff Colony for that reason, because getting 17 people yakking in my ear about how they would write the script just makes me cranky. I understand it's part of the process of development in theatre, but I just wish people would put more thought into their comments. That's my only big issue with workshops. I spend months creating something, but in less time than it takes to order a latte, someone can tear it down. Hmm, maybe it is time for me to get out of theatre.

Actually, I'm being a bit more negative than I meant to be. The reading went well, and I saw all sorts of things working in the play, along with the flaws. I'm just glad that all the months of work have paid off. The story is intact. Now I have to clean up the scenes and do a character polish and make the play more show and less tell. Only 4 more drafts and I think I'll have something.

This is day one of my workshop in Banff. I met a Peking Opera specialist who will be our resource person for the week, and he's very keen. I'm hoping to download everything he has into my brain so that I can figure out exactly what to do with the next draft of the script. I feel the structure is much closer to what it needs to be, but I still have to deal with the songs and refine the scenes. Plus, there's the whole aspect of performing in painted faces. Natural dialogue is going to sound weird coming from clown-like faces I suspect. There's got to be some kind of hybrid make-up that allows the characters to come across as human as well as being Peking Opera characters. I hope to find the answer to that question this week. Today, we're going into major research phase and learning everything there is to know about Peking Opera... well, not everything. Let's just say it's a crash course.