'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through Ed's house
Not an MLA was stirring, not even a mouse;
The bills were recorded in the Hansard with care,
In hopes that better days soon would be there;
The Tories were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of MLA perks danced in their heads;
Rob Renner in his duck suit, and Ed in his cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,
When out in the leg there arose such a clatter,
Ed sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window he flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The report on the oil sands, like pee on the snow
Gave an ugly sheen to the government below,
Then, what to Ed's wondering eyes should appear,
But a renegade Tory, in full ER gear,
That hothead so manic and moribund,
Ed knew in a blink it must be Raj Sherman.
More rapid than eagles Raj's curses they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and outed them by name;
"Now, Liepert! now, Stelmach! now, Fred Horne and Duckett!
You knuckleheads just make me want to say #%$ it!
Ed cried, get him out of the dome! Toss him off the wall!
And later claimed Sherman agreed to it all.
The Tories, they did duck while accusations did fly,
Ed prayed for fall session to keel over and die,
But into the tailings pond a few Mallards flew,
With feathers in oil, they were bad PR too.
Worse news. In a twinkling, Ed heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of a brand new hoof.
As he drew in his head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Danielle Smith came with a bound.
She was dressed all in fur, from her head to her foot,
And she claimed her revolution was all grassroot;
Disgruntled Tories she had flung on her back,
And she looked like a burglar just opening her pack.
Her eyes -- how they twinkled! her dimples how merry!
Her cheeks were wild roses, her nose a bright cherry!
Her droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
Though her party's track record was as white as the snow;
The heart of conservatives held tight in her hand,
Their resentment fueled her party's new brand;
She had a broad smile as she clutched her belly,
Her eyes on the prize like a bum in a deli.
She was clever and bright, a jolly young elf,
And Ed cringed when he saw her, in spite of himself;
A wink of her eye and a twist of her head,
Gave Ed to know he had everything to dread;
She spoke many words, and asked for more money,
But was told by the speaker, no more, dear honey,
So she laid her finger aside her nose,
And gave a nod, then up the polls she rose;
She sprang to her sleigh, to her team gave a whistle,
And charged they did like a Wildrose missile.
Ed heard her exclaim, ere she drove out of sight,
"See you in 2012, sleep on that tonight."
Too bad Danielle Smith is too extreme and ideological to resonate beyond her base of protesters.