Yes! Yes! The official draft is finished. No more major revisions! I cycled through the script all day looking for any repetition. I also had to polish the major revision I did to the first scene yesterday. The challenge was that a change to the intention of the first scene had a ripple effect throughout the entire play, and I spent most of the time tracking and smoothing out those ripples. I think I caught most of it.
The interesting thing is that I put my foot down in the notes session and said I was sick and tired of all the conflicting notes, and that I'd listen to my director's notes and make one final set of changes and be done with it. He backed off and only gave a few notes. We've been going back and forth on things that he sees, things that I see and things that the producers see. The only analogy I can give you is imagine three kids fighting over one doll (the script is the doll). If someone doesn't stop pulling, the thing is just going to break... which the script very nearly did... along with my brain.
Anyway, I put my foot down and said no more major changes. But as I worked on the draft with the knowledge that this was my final pass, I started to clean up things and see the script in a clear light. There weren't any nagging doubts as I clarified moments and cleaned up motivations. My proudest moment is the decision for Sun Wukong to go to the west. Originally, he wanted to go for a better life, but this motivation was too generic. Then I tried a version where the Empress Dowager banished him, but this strayed from the historical reality of why the Bachelor Men came to Canada. Today, I realized that I was over generalizing and over complicating things, so I went back to basics. Sun Wukong failed to pay a toll to walk on the Empress Dowager's road. She claimed to accept payment in money, blood or service.
Sun Wukong offered her his services as a spy. He'd go to the west to find out why so many others had died going there. She hadn't been curious before because she received money for sending the men across, but Sun Wukong, the trickster, convinced her that if she didn't know why the men were going, she didn't know for sure she was getting paid proper value.
This solution not only makes the motivation very specific, but it also alludes to the Bachelor Men story in a clean way, making the allegory work. I can't believe it took my seven years to finally figure that puzzle out.
And then when I had to sort out the scene between Sun Wukong and his son Laosan, I realized that another problem had been created. Later in the play, the Empress Dowager becomes upset with Sun Wukong for tricking her. What was the trick? As a spy, he would return to Jung Guo. In previous drafts, she was upset with him because he was banished but planning a return to his homeland. In this version, she would expect him to come back.
So, I had another eureka moment. Instead of Sun Wukong making up his mind to go to the west and bring his son and people to the west, which would have been a very static (ie. boring) moment, I let the characters come up with the plan. Of all characters, it was Laosan who came to the rescue. He hated life in Jung Guo because of the drought and the fact everyone was unhappy. Sun Wukong assumed this would be their home, but Laosan argued using his dead mother's words: "This is a place where we live. Home is where our hearts live. My heart is with you."
That moment is when Sun Wukong decides to go to the west and make sure things are safe, then bring his son and his people over. What's great about this is that it makes the story dramatic and puts it in present tense. Also, it tracks better in terms of history. In other words, I think I've nailed the allegory... finally.
Now that the script is settled, I have just one word. Freedom!!!!